Goal Setting!

It is the most wonderful time of the year!

Yes, this is the time of the year when we blow the dust off those handweights that are stuffed under the couch and determine that THIS IS THE YEAR we get in shape. We tromp off to the gym, struggle to find parking and motivation because we aren't the only ones with this idea and set off to find a personal trainer, a smoothie, and a spin class. Anything to get us off our collective butts and into that swimsuit for summer.

In addition to the gym, we book appointments with financial analysts because this year we will save more and spend less! We will balance our budget and stick to it!

And then...February comes...and we feel like complete and utter failures. We've already bought our third starbucks and it is only Tuesday, the handweights are back under the couch, we're sending our personal trainer to voicemail, and we are miserable because yet another year has gone into the dumpster.

What is it about January that has us setting goals and getting fired up?

Well, January is a reminder that new things are possible, new goals can be set, and new opportunities await.

So why isn't that the same for February, new month, new you right?

For one, we don't set realistic goals in January. It is not realistic to work out 5 nights a week when we were holding down sofas last week. It is not realistic to buy 1 starbucks a month when we buy one a day.

Goals, just like change, have to be manageable and attainable, or they only serve to remind us of how short we've fallen of our goal.

If you know me, you know that if I told you I was going to go to the Olympics in February and win a gold medal in Ski jumping, I would be setting a goal that is unattainable. Someone is going to go to the Olympics and win gold in February, but that someone has spent literally years of their lives training for the event. They aren't hopping off the couch in December and qualifying for the Olympics in January. If I suggested that to you, you'd laugh at me. I am over 250 lbs and terrified of heights. To set that goal would be preposterous. So if I did set that goal and then end up in a bar in March depressed because I didn't make it, you'd be incredulous. "Why would you think you could make that goal?"

The same can be said for our yearly attempt to change our lives. Heart - right place, Head - way off base.

In order for a goal to be a good goal, it must be realistic and attainable. In order to succeed at our goals, we must be setting goals with subtle, small changes that are easily accepted and assimilated into our lives.

YES, set huge lofty goals for yourself! I want you to set big dreams and be willing and able to chase them, but that's what it is...a chase. It is not a sprint. You have to be able to look at the big goal "Financial freedom" and then break it off into chunks of manageable goals and milestones you can reach along the way.

What do you need to do to attain financial freedom? What is the best way to tackle this, what does that even look like? Each person has different ideas of what that even means.

Sit down with your therapist, significant other, or yourself and set your goals, then draw the map of how to get there.

Only when we deal with ourselves authentically and honestly can we set goals that are attainable.

I want to lose 100 pounds...that's a great goal. I want to lose 100 pounds by March 1, not a great goal. By February 1, you'll be drowning in a chocolate milkshake wondering why you aren't happy that you lost 3 pounds.

When you set the bar too high, you cannot reach it. When you fail to reach it, you will feel like a failure.

What are some realistic goals you have set for yourself this year?