'Tis the Season

Here we go again! Another year of stress brought on by the holiday season! If you're anything like me, you're probably sandwiched between planning menus, deciding where people are going to sleep, and figuring out what to get that one person that you don't know well enough to know what they will look good in.

Every year we plan our holidays and every year at the end of the holiday we declare that next year will be different, we won't spend as much, eat as much, stress as much, etc, and then November comes around and we hop back on the roller coaster and pray there isn't a disaster.

The Holiday Season leads all other seasons for depression, anxiety and suicides.

So how do we handle the stress of the holidays without picking up an addiction to wine and losing a few family members?

1. Acknowledge the stress - denying that we are stressed out is the most damaging thing we can do because we set ourselves up for rash decisions and bad behavior choices. When we acknowledge our stress our brain starts working immediately to lower it. We will start problem solving to reduce our stress, we will also naturally increase our self care techniques to process and reduce the stress we are already under. When we say we are stressed out, we give ourselves permission to take a break from the stress. Whether it is taking a bath, watching a holiday movie, or taking a much needed nap, whatever you need to do to take care of yourself give yourself permission to do it.

2. Say no - There is so much pressure during the holidays to host a feast or attend a party. You don't have to. It is okay to say no. Sure, you can't ditch the family get together, but you can give a friend a small gift instead of attending their open house, or you can do a family gift exchange instead of signing yourself up to buy gifts for 80 adults and 125 children. Keep the gift giving to a minimum, set dollar limits. Say no to the pressure to buy extravagant items that people will forget or will be consumed or broken within a year. This is part of that keep it simple idea that is strongly encouraged. People love the thought, not the price tag, and if they don't, say no to them. Anyone who isn't grateful for a candle received, or an ornament for their tree, probably doesn't deserve more things anyway. Know your boundaries and set them. Then enforce them.

3. Change your expectations - I hate to be the reality check, but nobody wakes up on Christmas and is whisked away to a mansion that is decorated with gifts under the tree a la Miracle on 34th St. That is Hollywood. They spent weeks building a set and paying someone thousands of dollars to decorate and make it look perfect. You don't have that kind of time. Don't make unrealistic expectations of your holiday. Your tree is fine. Your lights look great. Nobody remembers your wrapping paper, so feel free to toss it in a gift bag and call it a day. Can't cook? Have someone else do the cooking. It is surprisingly affordable to host a holiday party at a restaurant. When I got married I hosted my reception at a restaurant instead of doing a big catered meal or stressing over having family over to the house. We invited the entire family and it was $550. Compared to $5,000 for a reception hall, sign me up! The same can be said for holiday meals. You can call local restaurants and host the part out. Then you're giving your business to a small business, there is a definite beginning and end to the festivities, and you can enjoy your guests and not have to be in the kitchen the entire time. Keep your family space for your family, then you're not spending time and energy deep cleaning carpets and stressing over a wine stain in the morning. Also, in line with saying no, keep your expectations of others simple as well. Expect nothing and be surprised by what you receive. We did a secret santa at work where we were required to keep the item cost below 5 dollars. It was so much fun scouring dollar stores for neat finds. I ended up with a beautiful small candle, candle holder, some sticky notes, and a candy bar. Perfect.

Long post short, the holidays are stressful because we allow them to be. We allow ourselves to be streched thin, financially and emotionally. Set boundaries. Enforce them. You'll be happier and healthier because of it and isn't that what the holidays are about?